Statistics have shown that the “money talk”  is a very touchy topic in romantic relationships. Therefore, most partners have difficulty having open conversations about money. Some say it is because they do not know how to start the conversation or believe it is an aspect of a romantic relationship that can be overlooked.

Though every relationship is unique, and there are different strokes for different folks. However, we know that insights from those who have walked the talk can shed light on this hush conversation. So, we decided to put Tope and Olamide in our spotlight. They are a couple who have been together for seven years. They will answer common questions many couples have but may hesitate to ask.

This blog highlights when and how they broached the ‘money talk’ and how they handled financial matters together in their romantic relationship. 

Tope: “As soon as the goal of the relationship is defined. My wife and I began discussing our finances when we started dating.”

How important is having the “money talk” in a relationship? 

Olamide: “Having money conversations in a romantic relationship helps understand each other’s financial strengths and weaknesses and prevents future conflicts.”

How do you guys deal with money-related issues? 

Olamide: “Understanding each other is key. We have money conversations consistently, so much so that it has become a part of our daily gist. This has helped us to better understand our differences, give grace to each other, and serve as each other’s financial accountability partners because as we grow together, the conversation about money changes.” 

Why should couples have open conversations about money? 

Tope: Like Davido said, “When money enters, love is sweeter.” You know how love, values, and character are like the engine of the relationship; money is the fuel that keeps it moving. Open conversations about money are crucial for a harmonious partnership, especially when you have collective goals.”

Olamide: “Not having money conversations will breed expectations, and consistently unmet financial expectations are harmful to the health of any relationship.”

Has money ever caused a fight? How did you resolve it? 

Tope: “Yes. There was a time she bought something for me, and I just got upset. I told her we needed money and didn’t need that thing even though she got it for me. We resolved it by talking, apologizing, and understanding each other’s perspectives on the said issue. An issue like that has never occurred again ever since.”

Olamide: “Both. We plan to have a joint account for shared goals and maintain personal accounts for individual needs. However, we presently have personal accounts, but we are in the know of each other’s expenses.”

Tope: “Yes, we make better decisions as a couple. I don’t know how to take out money to do things or buy things for myself, but now, I see the need to do that mainly because my wife does it. She helps and supports me in doing things for my family, like my parents and siblings. Also, discussing financial plans with her is a checker for me. When I tell her something, and she has reservations about it, I’ll look at it again. This has helped my decision-making. 

Olamide: “Certainly. My husband taught me financial discipline and to say ‘no’ when necessary. This has prevented unnecessary expenses. When I don’t have money or am not in a good position to lend to someone, I usually go borrow for the person and might end up paying back the loan. Also, I used to buy things I didn’t need because I liked them. He said that when I buy things I don’t like, instead of dumping that one and buying another, I have to sell that one I don’t like so that I can use the money to get the one I want. The process can be tiring, so I think twice before purchasing.” 

Do you have any financial tips for others?

Olamide: “Don’t let others dictate your financial decisions. Every relationship is unique, so figure it out with your partner and make decisions based on that. When people knew I was aware of how much my husband earns, they advised him that he shouldn’t let a lady know how much he earns or how much he has, but there was no issue with him knowing how much I earn. They warned us about many things, but people give advice based on their experiences, but many do not follow the advice they give. So figure it out with your partner, decide how you want it to work, and go for it.”

Tope and Olamide stress the importance of personalized money talks that fit your relationship. This helps you understand each other better and navigate finances more easily.
Don’t go into a longtime commitment without having the ‘money talk’. As Tope said, money fuels relationships. Whether in a good or bad way is up to you.

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